


Erm, Chocolate?

by Judeyjude



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Car Ride, Cute Ending, F/M, M/M, Meet-Cute, One Shot, Remus may disagree with it being cute, Sirius is a over-hyped puppy, lots of sneaky chocolates, or that's what Sirius thinks, sappy sirius, swearing remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8038048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judeyjude/pseuds/Judeyjude
Summary: “Him!” Sirius pointed frantically out his window to the car next to them. “Look at him! Look at him! Look at him look at him look at him look at him-”Sirius spots an attractive person next to him at the green light. What happens next is what he calls flirting. Remus is very much not wooed. Yet.





	Erm, Chocolate?

“Holy motherfucking shit!”

 

“Sirius, I swear if you pull over one more time because you saw a rabbit, I will murder you with this plastic fork!”

 

“But Jamie,” Sirius whined, dragging out the “mie” for an extra four seconds. “This is better than all those bunnies combined! Look at him!”

 

Turning a page of one of her many zombie novels, Lily piped up, “Look at who?”

 

“Him!” Sirius pointed frantically out his window to the car next to them. “Look at him! _Look_ at _him!_ Look at him look at him look at him look at him-”

 

“SHUT UP!” Lily and James screamed. It had been three too many hours trapped in a car with him.

 

Sirius slumped, his lower lip pushing out. “So rude to me. So unloved. So under appreciated and starved of affection.”

 

James groaned and leaned over, pushing Sirius’ fat head out of the way so he could see the mysterious “him”. He could only see the profile of the guy, but he looked around their age. His chestnut hair was wet, making it look rather flat. Some of the more dry pieces seemed to be curling. James squinted, trying to make out some of his face and when he did, he burst out laughing.

 

“Oh my god, Lily you have to see this!” 

 

Lily quickly scrambled to move seats in the back so she could get a look. Her eyes widened and she fell backward in a fit of giggles.

 

“Look like you’ve met your match, Re,” she gasped.

 

Before Sirius could demand what on earth they were talking about, the cars behind them honked with enthusiasm. Shit, he hadn’t noticed the light changed green.

 

Pushing on the gas pedal, Sirius threw a sour look at the two, their cheeks red with giddy laughter.

 

“Sorry Re, but his pout was almost as awful as yours,” James said, fighting off a grin. Well, fighting off a bigger grin than he already had. 

 

“My pout is not awful!”

 

Before a fight could start, Lily intervened. “We’re just joking around, but I see why you’re so excited. He is quite fit.”

 

“Wh-what?” James spluttered. Lily rolled her eyes, turning back to her book.

 

Sirius had perked up at the validation, however, and took that as his cue to talk a mile a minute.

 

“- and did you see those arms? Slightly flexed, ya know, so I could see some lines of muscle. Not too much muscle, but like that kind where you assume they don’t work out but then they scratch their neck or something and it bulges and it’s like _wow_ , so before you can even talk your brain out of it, you’re _there_ and you’re _holding_ his bicep and-”

 

Lily had finished a whole chapter and was through a third of the next one. James’ head was pressed firmly into the dashboard of the car. Occasionally he’d lift it a centimeter so he could bang it back down repetitively for a few minutes.

 

“-what do you think he does? Where’s he going? Why’s he pouting? Do you think he’s gay? Well I guess he could be somewhere on the spectrum, but do you think that includes a preference toward guys? What about incredibly sexy, raven-haired, smoldering grey-eyed guys? What do you think Jamie? Actually no, don’t answer that, your gaydar sucks, Lily’s is probably better, hey Lily-”

 

After a while, the road merged into one lane. Some punk rock song came on the radio and Sirius was finally quieted. He moved his head from side to side, humming happily along. There was only an hour left in the drive until they were at Potter’s house. 

 

“Bet you five minutes of silence that Mum’s going to cry at least six times tonight after you reveal the engagement.”

 

“Cross your heart that you’ll actually be 100% silent for ten minutes and I’ll bet you a new record from that old shop that she’ll cry once immediately for seven minutes and then tear up four times throughout the night and then one more cry before bed.”

 

“Deal,” Sirius said, taking one hand off the wheel to cross his heart.

 

A few more precious moments of silence ensued before it was broken by three insistent honks.

 

Lily sighed. “You’re going at least 15 miles under the speed limit. Also, I’d suggest going at least 10 miles above the the limit since the person you’re currently pissing off is your ‘soulmate’.”

 

Sirius’ eyes widened as he glanced into the rearview mirror and saw him- a modern day angel there to swoop Sirius off his feet.

 

“How long has he been behind me? Lily, you traitor!”

 

Two more honks. A brilliant plan blossomed in his head. Instead of speeding down, Sirius pulled his foot off the gas pedal a bit. One loud, prolonged honk rang out.

 

“The fuck, Re. Pull over and let the man go.”

 

“Nope.” Sirius smirked, popping the p. He was obviously a genius. 

 

“Stoping being an asshole.”

 

“I’m not being an asshole, I’m _flirting_.”

 

“FLIRTING?”

 

“Are your glasses broken or are you going fully blind?”

 

“Oh, I wish I was blind. Lord, save me from this horrendous sight of a wanna-be punk rock piece of shit and his pitiful pining.”

 

“BOYS!”

 

Sirius and James shrunk into themselves. 

 

“Sorry Lils.”

 

Sirius pushed back on the pedal, speeding up to a more appropriate speed. He glanced at Lily every few minutes. Once she was engrossed with her book, he waited two more minutes before slowing down again. Gradually he got slower and slower and he had to keep his face wiped of smugness.

 

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Lily said, not even glancing up. How did she always know everything? “Besides, this really isn’t going to make him swoon.”

 

“You don’t know anything about wooing Lils, don’t act like you know what will and what will not please my soulmate. You act as if you know him.”

 

“Don’t come running back to me when this blows up in your face.” Lily hid her cryptic smile behind her book.

 

It was obvious James and Lily were now ignoring him, knowing this was a hopeless cause. Sirius slowed down even more, but this time it didn’t elicit a honk. Not one. So he went slower. And slower. Getting more and more frustrated at the lack of response (what did it take to get a little attention??), Sirius honked his own horn. The response was instantaneous. 

 

“Oh, fuck!” 

 

Sirius’ heart hammered his chest, this was it, he was going to die, the world was ending. Sirius sent a last thought to Elvendork, his motorcycle: _I’m sorry love._

 

Just when his soulmate was about to ram his speeding car into the back of their van, the boy swerved to the side, _going off the road_ , so he could then swerve back in front of Sirius. 

 

James laughed so hard he banged his head on the roof of the car. “Looks like you’re flirting paid off Re!”

 

Lily kicked the back of Sirius’ seat. “Told you so.”

 

But Sirius was not one to back down from a challenge. His soulmate had made a considerable distance between them, but nothing a hard press on the gas couldn’t do. He gave a friendly honk-honk as he drove off to the side of the road and back in front of his future husband.

 

This continued for ten minutes and, currently, Sirius was in front and his adrenaline was pumping, screaming in his veins. James was shouting at him that he was going to get them killed or arrested. Lily was surprisingly calm except for her snide remarks that he was blowing his chance away. 

 

Finally, it seemed like he broke the boy. His soulmate over passed him once again, but this time he skidded to a halt. Sirius pushed on the brakes just in time to avoid crashing into the small car. 

 

“Lily, get me some popcorn!” James had sat up, pushing his glasses further up in preparation for the shit show. A door was thrown open and out emerged the angel himself.

 

_Wow._

 

Sirius first thought was he’s much taller than he expected. His second thought was maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. The angel’s face was flushed with a scowl that could make your great-great-great grandfather piss himself in his grave. 

 

Sirius unbuckled his seatbelt, unlocking the door, but before he could open it, the boy did it for him. Sirius started to stutter when a hand gripped his shirt, yanking him out of his seat. There was a loud whoop in the car from James.

 

“What in the mother-fuckin’ _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” His soulmate demanded.

 

Sirius’ mouth fell open. The boy continued to swear and shout, but it went right over Sirius’ head. How could someone be shouting but still sound like he was whispering? That bite in his tone had Sirius’ tale between his legs, but there was an underlying soft, lulling tone that Sirius couldn’t get enough of. Plus, the boy’s eyes seemed to crackle with fire, making the yellow specks in the green pop. And his hair- that was a whole other thing he could rant about. It had dried out into a curly, fluffy mess. It looked so soft. So soft. How mad would he be if Sirius just reached up and touched it right now? He’d probably get punched, but it would totally be worth it.

 

“Hello? Are you even listening to me? Figures. You’re just some pompous right git of an asshole who finds it fun to ruin people’s days and be a fucking fuck-idiot, aren’t you?”

 

“Spot on actually,” Lily called out, getting out of the car.

 

At the sight of her, the raging soulmate’s face relaxed and a small smile formed along with an incredulous look. Sirius thought he was going to go blind from the beauty.

 

“Lily? Oh my god, it’s so nice to see you!”

 

Sirius was left spluttering as _his_ soulmate _left_ him to _hug_ Lily! His soulmate! Hug Lily! 

 

“You-you _know him_?”

 

Lily shot him a smug look, raising an eyebrow. “Of course I do. How could I not know my childhood best friend?”

 

The sound of a car door shutting caused the three of them to turn and look as James came striding out to grab Lily’s waist and pull her to his hip. Lily rolled her eyes.

 

“Hi, I’m James, Lily’s fiance. And you are?”

 

“Remus, but my friend’s call me Rem or Re,” Remus said, sticking his hand out to shake James’. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Lily and I’m so glad to finally meet you.”

 

James’ protective stance fell away as he grinned, shaking Remus’ hand eagerly. 

 

“So have I. Nice to put a face to the name, Re.”

 

Feeling left out, (why had Lily not told his soulmate about him??), Sirius blurted, “I told you we were soulmates!”

 

Remus spun around to throw him a look, his face darkening. James and Lily groaned.

 

“My name is Re too. Well, not Re, it’s actually Sirius, like the star, but people call me Re, you know, from the ‘ri’ in Sirius? Si-re-us” Sirius’ voice started to falter at the dry look on Remus’ face, but he pushed himself. “It’s a sign from the universe. You’re Re and I’m Re. We’re soulmates.”

 

Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius for a minute, seeming to analyze him. 

 

“Right,” he finally dragged out and turned to Lily. “Well, I got to get off. I was running late for a lunch with Mum and she’s going to have my head for this.”

 

Lily pulled him in for a last hug. “Take care and text me.”

 

“You too.”

 

Sirius watched his soulmate walk back to his car and waited for him to speed off and out of sight, before he turned to Lily.

 

“You set me up for failure! You didn’t tell me you knew him! Now I’ve made a right fool of myself. You could have warned me and gave me pointers.” Sirius kicked at some gravel before walking back to the car. Luckily this road was known for being deserted, but Sirius could see a car in the distance coming up. James and Lily piled into the car as Sirius turned the engine on.

 

“I did try to warn you,” Lily sang.

 

Sirius huffed, silent for the last five minutes. As he pulled into the driveway, Lily unbuckled and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Cheer up. You’re not special or anything, he’s always like that. Little ball of fire, I used to call him. Not so little anymore, though.” Lily winked.

 

That lifted his spirits a bit. Getting out of the car he pulled Lily out, taking her hands into his as he kneeled on the grass. 

 

“Please, please, _please_ help him realize I’m his soulmate.”

 

Lily pulled her hands out and walked past him, but called over her back, “The way to calm him down is through chocolate and I didn’t tell you that.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sirius didn’t see Remus for another three days until the engagement party. James, who had won the bet, had taken the ten minutes to full on sob with relief over a few moments without the word “angel”, “soulmate”, or “re-re” uttered once.

 

Currently, Sirius was peeking around the corner at Remus talking to Lily. He thought his plan must be working because each time the handsome devil (he was wearing tight black pants and a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up!! Did God want to give him a heart attack??) caught a glance of him, he seemed less and less frowney. But that could also be because Sirius was making himself scarce. As an Aunt called Lily’s name, Remus turned his back to walk out into the backyard. Sirius surged forward on light feet, carefully placing another small chocolate into his soulmate’s pocket. With a grin, he high-tailed out of there to hide near a window that gave him a view of the yard. He watched with satisfaction as Remus found the chocolate (this one was the twelfth) and watched as a small smile tugged on his face as he unwrapped and popped it into his mouth. 

 

An hour later, just as Sirius was reaching out to place in yet another chocolate, Remus quickly spun around and grabbed his wrist. Sirius let out a small squeak.

 

Remus quirked up an eyebrow, his eyes dancing with mischief. 

 

“You going to keep stuffing me with heavenly chocolate or are you going to pull yourself together and talk to me?”

 

“I, I, er, um,-”

 

Rolling his eyes, Remus kept his hand on Sirius’ wrist and pulled him out into the backyard, to an excluded corner. He muttered something that suspiciously sounded like “Lily was right in saying you’re hopeless.”

 

Remus let go of his wrist and crossed his arms, waiting.

 

Sirius hoped his soulmate couldn’t hear the fast beating of his heart. “Erm, chocolate?”

 

Chuckling, Remus took the twenty-third chocolate from Sirius’ palm, his fingers gently brushing against his skin. Sirius stopped breathing.

 

Pocketing it, Remus spoke up. “So, Lily was telling me things.”

 

_Oh no._

 

Sirius didn’t mean to raise his voice, but he practically shouted, “Whatever she said, she’s lying!”

 

Remus’ smile widened. “Oh? So I’m not you’re charming, gorgeous, amazing angel soulmate that could slay a million soldiers with just my glittering eyes?”

 

Sirius felt like his own eyes were going to pop out of his head, but he couldn’t find his mouth to work so he shook his head frantically, strands of hair falling out of his bun.

 

“Pity.” And was he mockingly pouting at Sirius? “So, I guess people won’t be shouting our ‘shipname’, Re-Re, as we fly off into the sunset in a passionate embrace?”

 

Thoroughly embarrassed, Sirius ducked his head, turning away. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

An impossibly warm hand grabbed his wrist once again and pulled him back, closer this time. 

 

“You forgot to ask me,” Remus said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“A-ask what?”

 

“What were my thoughts about all of this?”

 

Sirius felt like he was going to faint. “And what are your thoughts?” He asked, trying and failing to sound casual.

 

“Well.” And there his eyes went, sparkling like they were the goddamn sun. “What if I were to say that all of that doesn’t sound entirely horrific.”

 

Sirius’ body was filled with a frantic buzzing and his postured straightened. This was it, this was his moment to redeem himself.

 

“Then I’d find some horses or maybe I’ll just grab some cows and I’ll tape some cardboard wings and-”

 

Remus raised his eyebrows. Okay, next one.

 

“I’d build you a castle out of chocolate and buy a bunch of fans to keep it cool so it would never melt and I’d carry you in my arms through the thresh-”

 

Remus snorted.

 

“I’ll ask you if you’d if you’d… er, like to get a cup of coffee?”

 

Grinning, Remus corrected him by saying a hot chocolate actually or some tea would be nice.

 

“Really?” Sirius breathed out, gazing up at his soulmate as if he’d told him he could fly to the moon tonight. Now that’s an idea. His soulmate was his moon. Moony. That has a nice ring to it.

 

Remus’ eyes softened. “Well, I have to go now. It’s getting late.”

 

Sirius’ shoulders slumped and his lower lip made its presence known.

 

“Might be awfully scary walking home… in the dark… all by my lonesome self… my right hand feeling cold and unwanted…”

 

“Well, we’ll have to change that right away, won’t we?” Sirius asked, boldly grabbing the other boy’s hand before he could chicken out.

 

And if he died when Remus threaded his warm fingers through Sirius’, then it was the happiest death there ever was.

 

And if Remus pressed a lingering goodnight kiss onto his cheek at the end of their walk and Sirius was resurrected just so he could die all over again, then Sirius was perfectly alright with that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I ended up writing this when I should've been working on the next chapter for my other fanfiction. Hope it's alright as it was just a spur of the moment thing.


End file.
